|
Paris Hilton Continues To Squander Earth's Oxygen
The
earth lost nearly 550 liters of oxygen today, as Paris Hilton
respired continuously, while providing nothing of any value
in return. Aside from producing sizable quantities of the
greenhouse gas carbon dioxide, Ms. Hilton spent most of her
day drinking vodka and hurling racial epithets at her gardening
staff.
Experts
estimate that over the past year alone, Ms Hilton has consumed
roughly 200,750 liters of pure oxygen, while failing to work,
sing, act, or perform any other useful function, making her
existence a net loss for the planet. Analysts predict that,
barring a cocaine overdose or a particularly virulent strain
of the clap, Ms. Hilton will likely continue her reckless
consumption of natural resources for at least forty more years.
|