Political Satire
 

An article posted Monday on a sophomoric, half-assed website that no one reads, caused frustration and nearly three minutes of lost productivity, despite not being funny at all. Early reports indicate with some certainly that the article was poorly executed and shamelessly self-indulgent, especially for such an amateurish, piss-ant publication.

One victim of the article's failed humor told reporters that, "the title wasn't even funny, but for some reason I clicked on it anyway, and the next thing you know, it's this self-referential crap that doesn't even make sense. At first I stuck with it, but then he starts 'interviewing' people for comments, and it was just stupid. I mean, what does he think this is, the fucking Onion?"

One analyst interviewed for comment called the article "embarrassing", and observed that it "technically wasn't even satire." The vast, vast majority of those interviewed, however, had never visited the website in question, and consequently had no idea what we were talking about, telling reporters "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Most experts agree that only one sector of the population, the author's older brother Charlie, is likely to be impacted by the article in a major way. Analysts predict that on Monday night, while watching "Munich" with his girlfriend, Charlie will receive a phone call from his little brother, interrupting an extremely pivotal scene. The Brooklyn resident will then be forced to read the article "real quick" with his brother on the line, feigning amusement whenever it seems like a joke has been made. All in all, more than eleven minutes of the film will have to be rewound.

It appears that the article's author realized early on in the fifth paragraph that the concept, which was thin to begin with, was only getting thinner, and probably didn't justify a sixth.